The little touches that make your ceremony yours
Symbolic acts are a lovely way to add another layer of meaning to your wedding ceremony. They can reflect your relationship, your family, your heritage or simply something that feels special to the two of you.
Some have been passed down through generations, others are more modern, and some are entirely your own creation. There are no rules about what you should include. It is about finding something that feels right for you.
Symbolic Acts
Handfasting
Handfasting is one of the most popular symbolic acts I include in wedding ceremonies, and it's easy to see why. There is something beautiful about physically bringing two people together, using cords or ribbons to symbolise their commitment to one another.
The tradition is often associated with Celtic heritage and Pagan ceremonies. You may have heard the phrase "a year and a day" in connection with handfasting. This is commonly linked to some modern interpretations of the tradition, rather than being a universal rule followed by all ancient Celtic communities.
One of my favourite things about handfasting is how personal it can be. You can choose ribbons in colours that mean something to you, use a family tartan, include a piece of fabric with sentimental value or ask loved ones to contribute a cord.
You can keep it simple and intimate or make it a real feature of your ceremony. It can also be adapted to include children, making it a lovely way to recognise that you are bringing a family together, not just two people.
Unity sand ceremony
A unity sand ceremony involves two people pouring different colours of sand into one vessel, creating a pattern that represents their lives coming together.
It can be particularly meaningful for couples with children, as everyone can have their own colour of sand and add it to the same vessel. The finished piece becomes a keepsake of your wedding day and the family you are building together.
Unity candle
A unity candle ceremony involves two people lighting a central candle, often using individual candles to represent their lives before marriage.
It can be a lovely, understated addition to a ceremony, particularly if candlelight holds a special meaning for you. It can also be adapted to include children or other family members.
The Quaich ceremony
The Quaich is a traditional Scottish two-handled drinking cup, sometimes known as the cup of friendship. Sharing a drink from a Quaich can represent trust, hospitality and the life you are choosing to share.
It can be especially meaningful for couples with Scottish heritage, but you certainly don't need Scottish ancestry to include it. You can make the moment your own by choosing a drink that has a personal connection to your relationship.
Tree planting
If you love the outdoors or want to include a symbol of growth in your ceremony, planting a tree can be a beautiful choice.
You can each add soil to a pot, or include soil from places that matter to you. The tree represents the life you are building together, growing and changing as the years pass.
It is a particularly lovely option for couples who want something tangible to take home and nurture long after the wedding day.
Ring warming
A ring-warming ceremony is a simple but meaningful way to involve your guests.
Before the rings are exchanged, they are passed among your guests, who are invited to hold them for a moment and silently offer a wish, thought or blessing for your marriage.
It is a lovely way to make your guests part of the ceremony itself. If you have a large wedding, or guests who may find passing the rings difficult, we can adapt the idea so everyone can take part comfortably.
A family handfasting
If you are bringing children into your marriage, you may want to include them in a symbolic act that recognises the family you are creating together.
A family handfasting can involve placing cords around the hands of the couple and their children, with each cord representing the connection between you. The wording can be written especially for your family, acknowledging that every relationship is different and that everyone has an important place in it.
There is no need to make it overly sentimental. It can be warm, relaxed and completely personal to your family.
A love-letter ceremony
This is a lovely option for couples who enjoy writing to one another or who want to create a keepsake from their wedding day.
You each write a letter to the other, sharing your thoughts, hopes and promises. During the ceremony, you place the letters in a box, perhaps alongside a bottle of wine or another meaningful item, to open on a future anniversary.
You could choose your first anniversary, your fifth, or a date that means something to you both. The idea is to create a little moment for your future selves to look back on.
Create something entirely your own
You don't have to choose something traditional, and you certainly don't need to follow a list of established rituals.
Perhaps you want to include a favourite song, a family recipe, a shared hobby or an object that tells a story about your relationship. Perhaps there is a tradition from your culture or family that you would love to bring into your ceremony.
If it matters to you, we can explore how to include it.
Let's make it meaningful
Symbolic acts are entirely optional. You don't need to include one just because you have seen it at another wedding, and you don't need to choose something simply because it looks beautiful in photographs
My job is to help you explore the possibilities, talk through what each idea means and create something that feels right for you. I'll also make sure it fits naturally into the ceremony and that any practical considerations, including accessibility and the needs of your guests, are thought through.
If you've seen a symbolic act you love, or you'd like to explore something a little different, tell me about it. We can have a chat, look at the options and create something that feels meaningful to you. And if you haven't a clue where to start, that's absolutely fine, too. That's what I'm here for.
How to Include Your Guests in Your Wedding Ceremony
Why have them sitting in silence, watching the ceremony happen, when they could be part of it?
One of my favourite things about being a celebrant is finding little ways to bring people into a ceremony. Not in a forced, right, everybody up on your feet sort of way, but in ways that feel natural, meaningful and completely you.
Because a wedding ceremony doesn’t have to mean everyone sitting very still, hoping they don’t get caught making eye contact with the photographer while trying not to cry.
There are so many ways to involve your guests, whether you’re planning an intimate gathering of your favourite people or a big celebration with everyone you’ve ever met, including that cousin you haven’t seen since 2009.
So, how can you get your guests involved?
Let them make some noise
A wedding is a celebration, after all. Your guests can cheer when you make your entrance, give you a proper round of applause when you’re pronounced married, or make as much noise as they like when you share your first kiss as a married couple.
Simple? Absolutely. Effective? Every single time.
Ask them to make a promise
If your friends and family are an important part of your story, why not give them a little role in it?
I can include a moment where your guests are asked to promise to support, encourage and celebrate you throughout your marriage. They can respond together with a simple “We do”, “We will” or whatever feels right for you.
It’s a lovely way of recognising that marriage doesn’t happen in isolation. The people around you matter, and they’re part of the life you’re building together.
Give someone a reading
A reading doesn’t have to be a traditional poem or something that sounds like it belongs in a book of wedding quotations.
It could be a favourite extract from a book, a few lines from a film, song lyrics, something funny, something sentimental or words that mean something to the two of you.
Choose someone who matters to you, give them a little time to prepare, and let them bring their own personality to the moment.
And if the thought of asking someone to read in front of a crowd makes them want to fake their own disappearance, don’t worry. There are plenty of other ways to include them.
Get your favourite people involved in a symbolic act
Symbolic acts can be a beautiful way to involve family and friends, and there are so many options beyond the usual.
A handfasting, for example, is a lovely Celtic tradition in which your hands are bound together with cords or ribbons. You could ask loved ones to bring the ribbons forward, each representing a person, a wish or something you want to carry into your marriage.
You might choose a ring-warming ceremony, where your wedding rings are passed among your guests to hold for a moment and fill with their good wishes before you exchange them.
Or perhaps you’d prefer something entirely different. The point isn’t to include a symbolic act because you think you should. It’s to find something that means something to you.
Include your children
If you’re bringing children into your marriage, or your children are already a big part of your family, there are lovely ways to make them feel included.
They might bring your rings forward, take part in a family promise, help with a symbolic act or simply have a special moment within the ceremony that acknowledges the family you’re creating together.
And because children are children, I’m always a fan of having a flexible plan. The best ceremonies leave room for little people to be themselves, whether that means confidently delivering their big moment or deciding halfway down the aisle that they’d rather be with Granny.
Both are perfectly acceptable.
Let your guests share their wishes
Imagine asking a handful of your favourite people to share a wish, piece of advice or hope for your marriage.
It could be heartfelt, funny or a mixture of both. One person might wish you a lifetime of laughter; another might remind you that being right isn’t always worth it.
You can invite a few people to contribute during the ceremony, or gather wishes in advance and have them read aloud. It’s a lovely way to include people without putting anyone on the spot.
Give everyone a little moment together
Sometimes, the simplest ideas are the loveliest.
You could invite your guests to stand for a moment and offer their good wishes, join in with a song, raise a glass after the ceremony or take part in a collective promise of support.
You don’t need to give everyone a job. Sometimes, helping people feel involved is simply about giving them a reason to feel connected to what’s happening in front of them.
Make it personal to your people
Perhaps your best friend has a brilliant sense of humour. Your granny has been waiting years for this day. Your siblings have been involved in your relationship since the very beginning, or your chosen family have supported you through everything life has thrown your way.
There might be a private joke, a family tradition, a favourite song or a story that deserves its own little moment.
Tell me about your people. I’ll help you find a way to bring them into the ceremony that feels genuine, rather than shoehorned in for the sake of it.
A little reminder: you don’t have to involve everyone
This isn’t a checklist. It’s a menu of possibilities.
Some couples want their guests right in the heart of the ceremony. Others prefer to keep things intimate between the two of them, with everyone else there to witness and celebrate. Both are absolutely fine.
You also don’t have to ask your guests to stand up, speak in public or do anything that makes them uncomfortable. Involvement can be quiet, collective, symbolic or completely behind the scenes.
And if you have guests with disabilities, sensory needs or different communication styles, we can think about ways to make participation comfortable and accessible, without making anyone feel singled out.
That’s the beauty of having a ceremony written specifically for you. We can make room for the people you love, the things that matter to you and the atmosphere you want to create.
Let’s make it yours
When we work together, I’ll ask about the people who matter to you, the relationships that have shaped your lives and the kind of experience you want your guests to have.
We’ll talk through the possibilities, keep the things you love, ditch the things you don’t and create something that feels natural from beginning to end.
No forced participation. No awkward formalities. And definitely no school assembly energy.
Just a ceremony that brings your story, your people and your personalities together in a way that feels entirely yours.
If you’d love your guests to feel like part of the story rather than an audience, let’s have a chat.
I’d love to hear what you’re planning.